i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
