people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
