Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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