sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Are we still banned from the library?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
