1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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