apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
