he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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