I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
