But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
