DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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