And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
