Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if i can run in heels then i can drive
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
