I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
