so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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