yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
