i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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