from now on my penis is your penis
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
