its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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