I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
