Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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