Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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