i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
