Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
