what day is it and did you see me today?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Randomize
