i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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