But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
