i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
