Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
