Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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