smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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