How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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