I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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