In the future we'll all be gay
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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