? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
