If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
