I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
