in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
How naked do you want me to be?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
