My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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