But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
