every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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