Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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