turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
