i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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