Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
