I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
