drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
