that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
