My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
