Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
