you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
