you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
