i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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