So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
